So I guess I’m trying something out here, something that feels so old. Maybe it’s outdated? Or maybe it’s the perfect thing to get back to?
I’m not sure social media is for me. I’ve been thinking about this fact for a couple of months now. Maybe even years without realizing it?
I’ve been so caught up in knowing how it works and figuring the new things out, that I in some ways forgot to check in on myself for a second. Do I really feel this space is giving me something positive? Yes I love pictures and inspiration, but is Instagram really making my days better?
Or is it just taking up time and kind of nothing else.
I’ve been online since online was a thing I needed to bribe mom to stay off the phone for - for 15 minutes, just so I could put clothes on an online doll.
-Do you remember these bad boys?-
I got a homepage for every part of me, I started blogging when that became popular. I had myspace and sent messages with a kinda weird but very cute Scottish guy from Dumfries that later turned out to be fucking Calvin Harris?!? But who’s bragging...
I have always gotten in on the new hot thing (I even have tiktok. Have I tried to make one of those lipsync-videos? I’d rather not come forward with this information). And somewhere in these past couple of years I found myself in the grind simply because everybody else was. It used to be something fun I did to escape reality in a way. Just having a space to be artistic and weird and my self (hello deviantart and blogspot). Now it’s all about how to be «approachable» and «in touch with the latest addition to social media living» and «how to make money out of it». I don’t feel good. At all.
-Ohmygod I just found out Deviantart still exist?!?! I thought it was as dead as Piczo!-
-...And there even was blogposts on Deviantart?!?!?! Honest to god, I do not remember these! But good for me for getting a boyfriend!-
So I’m trying out this new thing where I go back to this almost ancient (?) thing called blogging. Not because I want more followers, more money or more whatever. I just want to feel like I’m getting something and not giving it you know.
I want to write again, maybe better this time around than when I was 17 and had no clue what to write. I was too focused on people liking me back then. I’ve gotten older now, learned a whole lot more lessons and gone to therapy - I don’t care what people think of me (just kidding of course I do. But not as much…? Because I’m an adult…?).
-One of my first ever blogposts. I'm giving the excuse that I was a teenager when writing this-
Anyway, I’m doing this for me goshdarnit!
And you know what, I don’t really know why, other than that I want to do something I like again, without it being sooo goddamn serious all the time. I like writing! In English, even though I’m norwegian! How kooky! And I like the thought of doing it just because and that’s final. I miss when photography was just that - something I did for fun with no end goal. But also, not to be too harsh on myself, I kinda had to have an end goal to photography, because money you know. Gotta get that money to stay alive.
So on that note I am ending this first real blog post of 2021.
I hope you enjoy it. If not, well alright then, nothing to do about that. Oh and yeah I forgot - I don’t care because I’m an adult now anyway!