It's been a crazy couple of months...
There's no other way around it. Being home (and alone, mind you), being with my own head and mind and trying to manage the thoughts and fears of losing a job and not being good enough and not knowing when and if and who and why. It's all a bit overwhelming. And of course the fear of the virus itself, fear of losing someone I love, seeing the news and hearing about all the tragedies around the world.
It's been very special to try making the most of every day and also some days succombing to the reality that it sometimes just don't work out like you want to.
I have been extremely artistic. And playful. And interested in doing something new. Before the pandemic started I was rushing around, focused on working but not really focused on where I was heading. Being stationed inside for two months really shut it all down, and I was forced to look into myself, finding out basicly who I was and how on earth to start the journey to finding my focus again.
I found it again this week.
After hitting the bottom and feeling hopeless and useless and drowning in the negativity of it all, I started peeling off layer after layer of all the things "I'm supposed to be doing". And I found out what I wanted to do. I found some certainty in a time where nothing is certain.
So I'm back at it!
I know what I am aiming for again, and I have in some ways found my true self within all of the chaos that is happening around me.